Dealing with Disappointments
Paul said in 11 Corinthians 15:58, “brethren be steadfast and
immovable.” I am sure this was hard for Paul because his ministry was
so difficult. Today, it is also very hard to be steadfast when life is
full of so many disappointments. Some days there is one disappointment
right after another when you receive a bad doctors report, a job loss,
or a broken promise. Being hit by a disappointment is much like
standing on the beach when a big wave comes crashing in and it knocks
you off your feet. The problem is the waves keep coming, one after the
other, knocking you down until all you want to do is yell, "STOP! Just
let me get out of here!" Disappointments are like those waves; they do
not stop. There will always be disappointments in our lives, but the
key is to discover how to stand up and not be knocked down when they
come.
We are going to look at two people on this "beach" and observe how they dealt with disappointments:
You may be wondering what could make the difference between a person who bounces back within a few minutes, and the one who gives up. Both are being hit by the same wave of disappointment, but what makes the difference in how they respond?
Disappointments come and they will continue to come. The goal is to be healed of previous hurts so when a new disappointment comes, you do not feel all the pain of that previous hurt. Childhood hurts are even worse because a child does not have the capability to understand why things happen, so they come up with their own conclusions. This is why an adult can think and feel as they did as a child. Thoughts will change when feelings change. Maturity means you think and feel like an adult, and as a result you will then act as an adult. But, maturity only comes as you put away childhood hurts through healing.
“When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have became a man/woman, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside.” 1 Corinthians 13:11 AMP
A hurt in childhood can dictate the way you think and feel about every situation you face in life. A person who feels rejected will handle a disappointment much differently than a person who has been healed from rejection. The one who has been healed will feel loved and accepted. They can remember how the Lord has brought them through bad situations, and therefore will recover quickly when something is disappointing. They will be able to recall in a split second that everything will turn out all right even when they are disappointed.
Think with me for a moment how you process thoughts. What runs through your mind when someone takes credit for something that you feel you should receive? What do you think when you feel disappointed because you did not get a promotion? In some areas, do you find yourself today as an adult thinking and feeling the same way as you did years ago? Do you get upset easily and even pout for several hours when someone says something you do not like? Or do your feelings get hurt easily and stay hurt for a long time?
Healing activates maturity; the lack of healing keeps you stuck thinking, feeling and acting like a child. The reason many people find themselves still pouting or getting their feelings hurt is because they were hurt as a child and have not been healed. They will still think as they did as a child and then act accordingly. Someone who has been hurt during childhood can stay stuck and bound up in childish emotions. They will therefore handle things emotionally the way they did as a child. They will respond to situations as a child instead of as an adult. Actually, many people are locked in time in the pain of the past. They overreact to every situation and every disappointment. These people have never grown up and need healing in order to grow up in their emotions. There are several stages of maturity that occurs as healing takes place.
It is essential in healing, to find a safe place. Home should have been a safe place to grow up and mature, but in many cases it wasn’t. If home was not safe, then finding a safe place that functions like home will automatically activate the healing process. Home is a place where it is safe to be real and express how you feel about things. Having someone who is spiritually mature (a spiritual mother or father) is essential during the healing process. A safe place needs to be a place where wounds that need healing are identified and the issues that have resulted can be dealt with.
When healing takes place, maturity follows, and then the way you think when you get hit by disappointment will be different. Maturity will cause you to stand and face the situation without fear, and trust that God will get you through. Seek your healing for any disappointments of the past so that when disappointments come in the future, you will be able to stand firm, be steadfast and not moved.
Written by Denise Boggs
We are going to look at two people on this "beach" and observe how they dealt with disappointments:
The first person, Judy, was hit by a wave of disappointment. When she
did not receive the promotion she hoped for at work, the wave of
disappointment knocked her down. Then when she was about to get back on
her feet, she was hit by another wave when she was not chosen to be
part of a church program. One big blow after another had knocked her
down and this time she did not get up. She shut down, quit the job and
left the church.
For Judy, each wave of disappointment made her feel pain. When she was born, her parents were very poor, and when she was four they gave her up for adoption. Even though she had wonderful adoptive parents, she always felt bad about herself and felt like something was wrong with her since her parents did not want her. She never told anyone how bad she felt; she just suffered silently. When she was not chosen for the promotion at work, or for the church program, she felt all the pain that she felt when her parents left her at the agency.
The second person, Sally, was hit by the same thing. She too was knocked down by the same wave of disappointment when she did not get a promotion. It was hard, and she was very disappointed because she needed the additional income; but after taking a break, she returned back to work and quickly recovered. The wave of disappointing news knocked her down, but she got back up and kept going.
For Judy, each wave of disappointment made her feel pain. When she was born, her parents were very poor, and when she was four they gave her up for adoption. Even though she had wonderful adoptive parents, she always felt bad about herself and felt like something was wrong with her since her parents did not want her. She never told anyone how bad she felt; she just suffered silently. When she was not chosen for the promotion at work, or for the church program, she felt all the pain that she felt when her parents left her at the agency.
The second person, Sally, was hit by the same thing. She too was knocked down by the same wave of disappointment when she did not get a promotion. It was hard, and she was very disappointed because she needed the additional income; but after taking a break, she returned back to work and quickly recovered. The wave of disappointing news knocked her down, but she got back up and kept going.
You may be wondering what could make the difference between a person who bounces back within a few minutes, and the one who gives up. Both are being hit by the same wave of disappointment, but what makes the difference in how they respond?
Disappointments come and they will continue to come. The goal is to be healed of previous hurts so when a new disappointment comes, you do not feel all the pain of that previous hurt. Childhood hurts are even worse because a child does not have the capability to understand why things happen, so they come up with their own conclusions. This is why an adult can think and feel as they did as a child. Thoughts will change when feelings change. Maturity means you think and feel like an adult, and as a result you will then act as an adult. But, maturity only comes as you put away childhood hurts through healing.
“When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have became a man/woman, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside.” 1 Corinthians 13:11 AMP
A hurt in childhood can dictate the way you think and feel about every situation you face in life. A person who feels rejected will handle a disappointment much differently than a person who has been healed from rejection. The one who has been healed will feel loved and accepted. They can remember how the Lord has brought them through bad situations, and therefore will recover quickly when something is disappointing. They will be able to recall in a split second that everything will turn out all right even when they are disappointed.
Think with me for a moment how you process thoughts. What runs through your mind when someone takes credit for something that you feel you should receive? What do you think when you feel disappointed because you did not get a promotion? In some areas, do you find yourself today as an adult thinking and feeling the same way as you did years ago? Do you get upset easily and even pout for several hours when someone says something you do not like? Or do your feelings get hurt easily and stay hurt for a long time?
Healing activates maturity; the lack of healing keeps you stuck thinking, feeling and acting like a child. The reason many people find themselves still pouting or getting their feelings hurt is because they were hurt as a child and have not been healed. They will still think as they did as a child and then act accordingly. Someone who has been hurt during childhood can stay stuck and bound up in childish emotions. They will therefore handle things emotionally the way they did as a child. They will respond to situations as a child instead of as an adult. Actually, many people are locked in time in the pain of the past. They overreact to every situation and every disappointment. These people have never grown up and need healing in order to grow up in their emotions. There are several stages of maturity that occurs as healing takes place.
It is essential in healing, to find a safe place. Home should have been a safe place to grow up and mature, but in many cases it wasn’t. If home was not safe, then finding a safe place that functions like home will automatically activate the healing process. Home is a place where it is safe to be real and express how you feel about things. Having someone who is spiritually mature (a spiritual mother or father) is essential during the healing process. A safe place needs to be a place where wounds that need healing are identified and the issues that have resulted can be dealt with.
When healing takes place, maturity follows, and then the way you think when you get hit by disappointment will be different. Maturity will cause you to stand and face the situation without fear, and trust that God will get you through. Seek your healing for any disappointments of the past so that when disappointments come in the future, you will be able to stand firm, be steadfast and not moved.
Written by Denise Boggs
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