From childhood to adulthood, life is full of lessons. When a child reaches 13, they enter into a time of adult training instead of child training. They are to be given tasks with more responsibilities than they had as a child and trained how to carry out those tasks properly.  When a young adult is not properly trained for adulthood their maturity is stunted. This is a great problem in many people today; they have not matured properly in one or more areas of their life.

 

Many adults are stuck in childish behavior; an adult/child. One thing that can keep an adult/child stuck is an unhealthy parent – child relationship. At the age of 13 when a child becomes a young adult they begin to move toward adulthood; the parent has to begin to move also. The parent begins to move towards an adult relationship with their young adult. This means they will give their young adult more responsibility and more opportunities to make their own choices. The parents are close by for correction, more training and support if the choices are wrong. Wrong choices should be worked through so the young person learns from their mistakes instead of being rescued from mistakes as though they were a child.

 

Can you remember a time when you were a small child all dressed up in clean clothes and you saw a muddy hole that you just had to jump over? If you do, then you may remember your mom or dad running to clean you up when you fell down.

 

When a child falls into a mud hole, a mom or dad will always and lift them up with loving hands and clean them off. But as that same child grows and matures, he must learn that he can’t play in the mud holes without getting dirty. And if he does fall in, he is old enough to get himself out and clean himself off. As an adult, if he has learned his lesson, he will know where the mud hole is, the problems it causes when he falls in, and therefore, choose to walk around the hole instead of trying to jump over it.

 

But, if a parent always rescues their 14, 15, and 16 year olds out of the muddy situations that they have fallen into and never let them learn lessons from their mistakes, their young person will struggle becoming a responsible adult.

 

In the area of finance, young people should be given financial responsibilities and taught how to manage finances properly. When parents fail to train their children and young people how to manage money, they do them a great injustice. These parents will find themselves always bailing their children out of the mud or the financial mistakes they make. An adult, (40 years old with children of their own) should not look to their parents to pay their debts. I am not talking about a one- time problem. I am talking about an ongoing problem. A parent, who continues to pay bills, pay off bad debts, and even not require payment for loans they have personally made to their adult/child, is not being a good parent.

 

This is called is “enabling”. As long as it continues the adult is stuck as a child never learning from their mistakes. If parents continue to rescue their adult/child they will not learn to take responsibility and therefore never grow up. The parent may think their acts of kindness such as paying bills and making loans and not requiring them to pay back are out of love, but it is enabling. At first it was love but, if it continues without any change on the part of the adult/child then it is actually bad parenting and detrimental.

 

Those of you who are spiritual parents must learn from this and apply the principles to those you are ministering to and help them to grow up and take responsibility.

 

Written by: Denise Boggs
Living Waters Ministry 

 

  

 

“Encourage one another daily” (Hebrews 3:13).

Just a recap of what God has done over the last month in Living Waters ministry.

On Dec. 30 Lee and I ministered to a couple who gave a donation into Living Waters for $1,000 with a written prophetic word for the ministry. They wrote on the check “seed.” We received the check with grateful hearts, but we knew this was no ordinary check. It was a “seed” to be planted where God said to plant it. We felt a huge weight of responsibility to hear God and be faithful with this precious “seed”. On Friday we ministered to this same couple again. By Friday night a huge breakthrough occurred and on Saturday when our ministry time was over this couple gave another donation of $2,000 into Living Waters and wrote “seed” on the check. We were so thankful, but a little overwhelmed now with the responsibility of planting this “seed”. Lee and I continued to pray that the Lord would show us where He wanted the “seed” planted.

On Tuesday of the next week Jon, our son-in-law, told us that the unfinished Lodge that we had looked at in 2008 was still available and reduced in price. This property included the unfinished 7500 sq. ft. Lodge, an office building, another shop/garden building, and 18 acres. The asking price was close to $350,000 and the property is worth much more than that. Lee and I and the family prayed and agreed that we were to move on this property. I had received a word from one of our intercessors several weeks before that now confirmed this was where we were to plant the “seed.”

By faith we planted the “seed” and made an offer of $300,000.00 for the Lodge. The offer was accepted on Friday morning 1/9/09 and we were given 30 days to come up with 30,000 as a down payment.

As soon as the first “seed” was planted all the other “seed” needed for the down payment began to be pledged, like water, it poured in. By that same Friday evening, the first $30,000 had been pledged.

By Friday 1/16/09, $17,850.00 came in towards the $30,000.00 down payment.  An exciting thing we are hearing is that blessings are flowing to those who have pledged to support this project. One person described it as a flow from the anointing of what God is doing in Living Waters ministry that is now flowing into their family.

By our closing date February 4, 2009 all the money needed for the down payment came in.  We have purchased the property and have begun the work.

Watch and see what the Lord has done and is continuing to do!

Love and blessings,
Lee and Denise

  

Response to Article on Codependency
Author: Denise Boggs

  As I read the article on codependency, I see the person I was eighteen months ago. As a matter of fact, I still see small traces of that codependent person every now and then. I have operated in codependency for most of my life. I know what it is like to have a parent depend on you for acceptance and emotional support. As a child, I always took responsibility for my parent’s divorce. All through my life I felt the need to please everyone. Even in my adult years I was very concerned about displeasing those I served in ministry and those whom I had relationships with. I drove myself to the brink of a nervous breakdown worrying about what others were thinking about me. At this point in my life, I have been totally stripped of who I once was. When I broke a long standing codependent ministry relationship, it cost me everything. I have never experienced such hurt and agony. My former pastor and I were intricately woven together in our relationship. We were both dependent on the other for affirmation and acceptance. I did everything in my power to please him. However, the effort was never good enough. When I finally broke free from that unhealthy relationship, I was a very broken and incomplete person. For many months I felt like I had no identity. I did not know who I was anymore. I had so depended on others to give me identity that I did not know how to stand on my own.  As I began my journey to wholeness, I began to see just how much I relied on the acceptance of other people to make me happy. What a revelation!
  As God began to work in my heart, I began to see that my identity was in Him. All those years I had put my identity in people and in my abilities and talents. Once all that was gone, I had no idea who I really was. It took me losing everything to see that I could only find my identity in God. These past two years have been a drastic dismantling of the codependent  house that was built around me. Room by room God has deconstructed my thought patterns and my value systems. Day by day I see that old codependent person being re-identified. I still have my days where I may slip back into some of those old thought patterns. But I remember the scripture in Proverbs 4:23 that states, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life”. Everyday is one step closer to my freedom from codependency. The road to freedom has been a hard one for me. I am still in the process of finding my place in Christ. Now that I understand what I am fighting, I know how to strategize to bring total freedom. Am I completely healed? My honest answer to that question would be “no”. But I am well on my way. As I gain my identity in Christ, I believe that my complete healing will come. I operated in codependency for thirty eight years. There is no quick fix to being free. I have to be determined in my heart and spirit to seek God and spend time with Him in order to know who I really am in Him.  D.M.

  

Codependency

Codependency is a secular term that refers to a person who has a lack of personal identity. Therefore, he has an unhealthy dependency on people, accomplishments, or material things. He puts value on people and things because his own worth and value has not been established. This unhealthy dependency comes as a result of growing up in a dysfunctional family where his personal uniqueness and significance was not recognized. In the book, Love is a Choice, on page 15, we read: “The codependent is bound and tormented by the way things were in the dysfunctional family of origin. The ghost of our past – our nurturing years and the childhoods of our parents and their parents on back – wrap their eerie fingers around our present. Sometimes they whisper and sometimes they shout. The din can be helpful or damaging.”

A codependent person is bombarded with feelings of worthlessness and low self esteem due to his lack of identity. In Love is a Choice, on page 17, it says: “A codependent is certain his or her happiness hinges on others. A codependent‘s happiness depends almost totally on what others do and think.” Codependency in its full definition is an addiction to people, behaviors, or things as one tries to find identity, their worth, and value to family or society as a whole. In an attempt to control interior feelings of worthlessness, a person may seek out connection with successful people or organizations. Connecting to a successful person or organization is an attempt to gain identity through the association. The problem with this is that true identity can only be recognized when we accept ourselves based on who we are to God, the one who created us. The creator of something is the only valid source to define what was created.

CHARACTERISTICS OF CODEPENDENTS

1. A person who becomes codependent out of a need for identity. Due to the lack of identity, the person becomes dependent on others to establish their worth by validating them.

2. A codependent person seeks to gain validation and acceptance by meeting the needs of others regardless of the demand.

3. The codependent usually has grown up in an unhealthy family environment where love and acceptance was not freely given.

4. The codependent is bound and often tormented by the lies he has believed about himself due the lack of acceptance of their family.

5. The codependent’s self-esteem (and frequently, maturity) is very low. Emotional pain has slowed down the maturing process.

6. A codependent is certain his or her happiness hinges on the acceptance of others.

7. A codependent’s need for acceptance will keep him tied to unhealthy relationships, many times going along with things he is not in agreement with and unable to say “no” to.

8. Many times a codependent lives in denial about how unhealthy his relationships are and ignores the warning signals.

9. A codependent may feel certain that only a person who needs him will accept him, so he stays in relationships with only needy people.

10.  A codependent will feel overly responsible for others.

11. A codependent has a need to be needed; this keeps him in relationships with others who have many struggles in life (usually someone with addictions).

12. As a child growing up, a codependent’s life is filled with extremes (all or nothing), so life as an adult is always in chaos.  A life of peace seems almost impossible.

Codependent Relationships

In a codependent relationship, one person attaches to another in an attempt to gain his identity. By being accepted by this person, he has come to believe that now he has an identity. But instead of gaining identity, he loses identity, and gets lost behind the other person. Then the issue the other person struggles with now becomes his.

 

Codependent Relationship     Healthy Relationship

 

 

 

Symptoms of codependent relationships:

 Lack of boundaries, can’t say “no”
 Not knowing where they end and the other begins
 One rescuing the other
 One fixing the other
 One controlling the other
 Lack of identity without the other
 One using the other
 One always taking and never giving
 One always giving and never receiving

The Trap

Any codependent relationship is a trap. Why? Because neither of the two people in the relationship are getting what they need. They are getting a tiny drop of love, just enough to stay in the relationship and hold on, hoping next week will be better. But next week is the same; nothing ever changes.

Steps out of Codependency:

1. Recognize: The first step to experience freedom from codependency is recognition. Break out of denial and face the truth. Learn to face reality, asks someone to help you look at your world objectively.

Recognize codependency by observing symptoms of unhealthy relationships. Recognize how unhealthy relationships have affected you. Recognize areas where you are minimizing problems or living in denial. 

2. Responsibility: The second step to freedom is to take responsibility for your healing. Who hurt you? Who rejected you? Who failed to recognize who you were?

If you are struggling with the need for acceptance, it may be because the need for acceptance was not adequately met in childhood. Acceptance is a very important need, and if it was not properly met during childhood, wounding occurred. Get healing for all wounding. Look at all relationships in the inventory. Are you receiving acceptance in these relationships?

3. Relationship Inventory: The third step is to take a relationship inventory to determine where there is an unhealthy dependency. Are you overlooking bad behavior out of your own need? Are you living in denial and not looking at the things you are not in agreement with but tolerate in order to be accepted by that person?

4. Reposition: Reposition yourself in truth… The truth of who you are in Christ.  If you are born again and have a relationship with Him, you are “accepted.” (Ephesians 1:6). 

This means you are accepted and acceptable to God. He accepts you because you are in Christ Jesus. You must now begin to walk in the truth of your identity as a son, not a slave.

5. Truth: Begin to live in the truth. Become completed by Christ (Ephesians 4:13), not through another person. Only through Christ can you be complete. Another person cannot complete you or define who you are. Who God says you are defines who you are. The more you spend time in prayer and the Word; you will become more complete in Him. You will hear what He says about you in His Word, and as you embrace the truth, it will define who you are.

Eph. 4: 13-15 Amp.  “(That it might develop) until we all attain oneness in the faith and in the comprehension of the (full and accurate) knowledge of the Son of God, that (we might arrive) at really mature manhood (the completeness of personality which is nothing less than the standard height of Christ’s own perfection), the measure of the stature of the fullness of the Christ and the completeness found in Him. So then, we may no longer be children, tossed (like ships) to and fro between chance and gusts of teaching and wavering with every changing wind of doctrine, (the prey of) the cunning and cleverness of unscrupulous men, (gamblers engaged) in every shifting form of trickery in inventing errors to mislead. Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth (in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, and living truly). Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, (even) Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

6. Boundaries: Break codependent relationships by living in truth and establishing healthy boundaries.

This is very hard if the codependent relationship has been established for a long period of time. Ask someone to support you as you began to make changes with unhealthy codependent relationships. See teaching on “Setting Healthy Boundaries”.

7. Speak the Truth: Begin speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Speak the truth of who you are and who you are not, and your personal convictions. As you speak this truth, you are establishing boundaries. You may also need to speak the truth about things you are not in agreement with. Many times in codependent relationships the truth is not spoken because of a need for acceptance. Speaking the truth applies to all areas where you have previously gone along with another person just to earn their acceptance. Learn to speak the truth in love by expressing your likes and dislikes, your thoughts and feelings, and your visions and dreams for the future. Learn to not be overly concerned with another’s response as they are getting used to your having an opinion and a voice.

8. Freedom: Codependency is broken over time as you are set free from the fear of rejection and are no longer controlled by what others think.

You will experience more and more freedom from rejection, and the fear of man will diminish. With this freedom you will gain more confidence to express ideas, thoughts and opinions. If someone does not agree with your ideas, you can be okay with it, and not view the lack of agreement as a rejection. You will experience the peace that comes from being accepted, complete, and secure in Christ and no longer dependent on others.

11 Corinthians 5:17 Amp.  “Therefore if any person is (ingrafted) in Christ he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old (previous moral and spiritual condition) has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!”

PRAYER FOR FREEDOM

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am so tired of struggling with the fear of rejection, and I come to You for freedom. 

Today, I choose to forgive all those who did not accept and validate me when I was younger. I forgive ___________and release all the anger and resentment I have held towards them.

I ask you to forgive me for my sinful response towards them.

I thank you, Lord Jesus, for being willing to go to the cross and experience this pain of rejection so that I could be set free from it.  You bore my pain and sorrow and provided the way for my healing and freedom.

Father, forgive me for accepting the lies of (rejection lies).  Forgive me for living in the fear that these lies are true.  I repent for seeking man’s approval and placing man’s opinion about me above Your Truth.

I come back into the safety of your Truth.  You said that I am fearfully and uniquely made.  I am accepted in the beloved.

Thank you, Father, for loving me and accepting me. Thank you, Jesus, for my freedom.

I declare that the power the enemy has had through these lies is broken. In Jesus name, I declare I am free from the fear of rejection.

I ask you to break the hold that this fear has had on me and break me free from codependency.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen   

 

 

 

  

One of the blessings of being a child of God is the blessing of dwelling in His house; I call it dwelling in the Big House. David declared in Psalm 23:6, “I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.” As a child of God dwelling in the Big House, you are perfectly aligned for all His spiritual blessings. Many people however do not accept this blessing; they are still dwelling in a little house with a very limited perspective. It is hard to see all of God’s blessings, much less believe they are for you if you are still living in the little house. In the little house you sit in the same little chair, and eat the same old stale bread. In the little house you are bound by what others think and what they say. There are only two rooms in the little house - these rooms are called fear and doubt. When you go into these two rooms, all you hear is “I probably can’t do it” and “I doubt I ever will.”  The choice is yours.  You can move into the Big House, or be content to just stay where you are in the little house.

If you have been a Christian for many years, you should have matured to the point where you have embraced your full inheritance.  You should know by now that you belong in the Big House surrounded with all spiritual blessings. You should be enjoying all the benefits of being an heir, a joint heir with Jesus Christ. And by now you should also be carrying out your Father’s business as heirs normally do. God is in the blessing business and He wants His children to carry on the family business and bless others.

Stuck in the Little House
Many people are sixty years old and still stuck in this little house. The little house is much like the house you grew up in. It is in this little house that you were groomed and prepared for the day you would walk out the door and begin to walk in your destiny. Your father had the awesome responsibility of affirming and calling you forth into maturity before you left his house. But if you were not blessed and affirmed you may still be waiting for affirmation. If you did not hear him say, “I love you, and I am so proud of you” you may be stuck in the little house. The words your father said or did not say can keep you stuck for many years, trapped in the past. When you are trapped in the past and still waiting for these words to be spoken, you cannot move forward. Many people are stuck still waiting for the words of affirmation that they never heard. They are unable to move forward and embrace the blessings God has prepared for them. Are you living in blessings of the Fathers House or are you still stuck in the little house.

This simple exercise will help you determine where you are living.
Think for a minute of the words that were spoken to you when you still lived at home.
Did you receive words of affirmation?
Did you receive words of encouragement?
Did you receive words that built you up and gave you hope?

Even in a loving family many times there is a void of affirmation. Words are spoken that tear down a child’s spirit. Words can bind you up and shut you down and keep you from believing that God wants to bless you. When you release these words, then you can receive God’s Word and take you place in the Fathers house.

The Prodigal
For the prodigal to regain his rightful place, he had to go back home and make things right with his father. We are sons and daughters of God and our Father is calling each of us to take our rightful place. God has made it possible for all His children to live, abide and dwell forever in His Big House with all spiritual blessings in Heavenly Places (Ephesians 1:3). You have a seat with Christ in and a big banquet table is being prepared. Our loving Father watches and waits for us all to come home. But like the prodigal son, we too must make things right with our earthly father. If you haven’t made things right, then your blessings are hindered.
 
“In thy presence there is fullness of joy at thy right hand there are pleasures forevermore” Psalms 16:11.

Leaving the Little House
So how do you get out of the little house?  How do you lay aside the lies you have believed that keep you in the past? You start with the words that bound you up or tore you down instead of building you up. You will feel like a child as long as you stay bound by the words that were spoken as a child. (Read I Corinthians 13:11)

 I am a parent of three children and I know I have said many hurtful things to my children, and I have asked for their forgiveness many times. Forgiveness removes the words from their mind like clearing a garden of weeds. I believe parents should check their children’s garden daily just to see if any lies have been planted. Many times parents do not even realize how the things they say affect their children. A parent can say one thing and a child hear something entirely different. I am not blaming parents in this exercise - my goal is to uproot the lies and heal the hurts.

Allow your Father God to up root every lie that you have believed and plant His Word of Truth. Find scriptures that tell you what your Heavenly Father says about you. You can start by reading Ephesians 1:3-5.  God’s Word will always build up, restore, and heal. The Truth of God’s Word will dispel all the pain of the past and the lies of the enemy. But God’s Word must be applied directly to the hurt, just like medicine to a wound.

Write out Ephesians 1:4 and make it personal, “He has chosen me.” And Ephesians 1:3,”I am blessed with all spiritual blessings” Other scriptures can be written out and personalize and then put to memory, one scripture at a time.

The Big House
Like going to any new destination, you will need a vehicle to get you to the Fathers House; the only vehicle that will get you there is the vehicle of faith. 

It’s only by faith that we enter into the Fathers House- the Big House where we receive our full inheritance. By faith you take your rightful place as a son or a daughter and a joint heir with Christ. As you read the Word and by faith receive the Word as Truth you will find yourself dwelling in a new place, a higher place, high above the old life you once lived.
Galatians 4:1 says as long as we are a child, we are as a servant or a slave; but when we put away the childish way of thinking- the old lies, we can by faith receive our identity and full inheritance.

“Now I say that an heir as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he is Lord of all.”  Galatians 4:1
  

Before faith, you are still a child - thinking, feeling and acting like a child. (1Corinthians 13:11) living in the little house. Now is the time to get into the vehicle of faith and travel to the Big House, the Father’s House where your full inheritance awaits you. You no longer are a servant or a slave, you have been redeemed and you are now an heir - a child of God.

“God sent forth His son… to redeem them that were under the law that they might receive the adoption of sons. Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Jesus Christ.” (Galatians 4: 4,5,7)

  

Many people are not settled with who they are. They live behind tightly closed doors, afraid to come out and discover who God created them to be. Fear will keep them locked up living a very lonely life. Life is like a race - you can only win if you come out and participate. Many people have been hurt and therefore, they are unable to enter into the abundant life God has prepared for them. Fear of rejection is what keeps many people from the abundant life.  The fear of rejection can be conquered when you discover your true identity. God’s Word has the keys that will unlock your identity and release you to participate in the race set before you. In life everyone wins when they embrace who God has created them to be and do what God has called them to do.

Have you ever asked this question, “Who am I?” The answer is a perception of how you see yourself, your value, and worth. This perception has been implanted into your mind over time and in many cases, it is based on incorrect information and even lies that you have believed. Therefore, it is very likely that the way you see yourself is not your true identity. The way you see yourself may be all twisted and tangled up, a mixture with some truth and some lies. The goal of this exercise is to help you separate the truth from the lies.

Stop now and pray asking the Holy Spirit to come and reveal the truth of who God has called you to be. There may be a vast difference between who you think you are and who God says you are. The following keys from God’s Word can set you free to be who He says you are.
 
The Key of Acceptance
Paul wrote in Ephesians 1:6, “I am accepted in the beloved.”  For many years I read this verse, but I just couldn’t get it. The lies I had believe were blocking my ability to receive the truth. I had experienced a great deal of rejection as a child and the lies I believed about myself were still there, even as an adult. You may struggle just like I did, always approaching others with an expectation of rejection. Rejection is a reality we all experience from time to time, but should not be taken on as an identity. The fear of rejection can keep you defeated and bound up in fear for many years. You may have experienced rejection, but you are not rejected. One of the schemes of Satan is to define you by what you have been through, like past hurts and defeats. Satan is the “father of lies” and he plants lies into our mind like seeds. He knows that if he can successfully plant these lies at an early age, he can govern the way you think. If he can control the way you think, then he can govern the way you feel with very little additional input. Most of our actions are determined by how we think and how we feel. When the way we think is based on lies, we will be prone to make repeated bad decisions. Satan knows that if he can plant lies when we are young and vulnerable, then he can program you for defeat and self-destruction. If you have received the lie that you are rejected, then every defeat or failure will confirm that this lie is true. In my life this proved to be a very effective scheme of destruction. 

Satan’s lies can be imparted directly through rejection and criticism, or indirectly by the absence of truth and positive affirmation. To determine the lies you have believed, you must look at what you believed as a child. As long as you believe the lies you believed as a child, you will think and feel as you did as a child. When you are a child you believe both truth and lies as all truth. Parents are the door that truth or lies must travel through to get to their children. Many parents have been blinded from seeing their significant role in confirming the truth of who God says their children are. The truth is a shield that protects their children from believing lies. If lies are believed, they have a life of their own and will continue to play over and over in our mind like a broken record. Rejection lies sound like this: you are worthless, you will never measure up, and you don’t belong. If these lies got through the door into your soul as a child, they may be governing the way you think about yourself and the way you think about your present circumstances. The lies from rejection can only be dispelled with the truth from God’s Word. The truth is the key that will set you free. The key that will unlock you from the pain caused by rejection is acceptance. If you have been hurt by rejection, God’s will for you is to be healed and set you free. By faith right now receive the truth from God, “You are loved and accepted in the beloved.” (Ephesians 1:6)

The Key of Blessing
“You are blessed with all spiritual blessings” Ephesians 1:3
Blessing is a powerful key. Blessing is God’s primary mechanism of confirming identity and establishing you into your purpose. When God blesses you, He accepts and receives you as His own. In the Hebrew, the word blessing means: to be empowered to prosper. A simple way to define blessing is to be accepted, and received, and regarded as one who has great worth and value. When God blesses you, He empowers you to prosper.

The highest form of blessing we can receive from an earthly vessel is to be blessed by a parent. God’s heart was to provide a safe place to impart identity into His children, and that’s why He established the home. The home is to be a haven where children are loved and affirmed as their identity is being discovered. Blessing is a key that fits perfectly into the key hole of each child’s heart to unlock their unique potential. Every child and adult alike needs to hear the words, “I love you, and I am proud of you.” A parent’s affirmation and blessing can empower their children to prosper and thrive as adults. The effect of parental blessings affects each of us for many years in our marriage, business, and even in our ministry.

The Appointed Time For Blessings
1. The first appointed time for blessing is at birth. Since God blesses the covenant of marriage, at birth a child is identified as a blessing, a joy, and an expression of the love between the two parents. Even from birth a child will feel blessed to be loved and accepted as a valuable addition to the family. Being received as a blessing gives identity. If this appointed time for blessing did not occur in your life, ask God to redeem all that was lost.

2. The second appointed time for blessing is when you receive your name. In biblical days, a name had such great significance that the parents would pray and seek God before announcing the name of their son or daughter. The name was announced and the baby was presented on the eighth day after birth. Many times a person had knowledge of their purpose in life through their name. Take Elijah for example; his name means “Jehovah is God.” Elijah’s destiny was announced in his name, and his purpose was to declare that Jehovah was the true God. His purpose and calling in life had been imparted into him through his parents. If this appointed time for blessing did not occur in your life, ask God to redeem all that was lost.

3. The third appointed time for blessing is at the age of thirteen when a boy becomes a young man, and a girl becomes a young woman. In biblical times at the age of thirteen, fathers spoke a special father’s blessing releasing his son into manhood. At this time, a father would also bless his daughter and release her into womanhood. A father’s blessing is so important for a young man or woman to properly enter into adulthood. If this appointed time for blessing did not occur in your life, ask God to redeem all that was lost.

4. The fourth appointed time for blessing is when a young man or woman chooses a mate. When you get married, a father blesses the marriage by being the best man. Or a father blesses his daughter when he gives her away. If this appointed time for blessing did not occur in your life, ask God to redeem all that was lost.

Redeeming the Time
If you were not blessed with a father’s blessing during these four appointed times, only God can redeem the time and all that was lost.

“Although my father and mother have forsaken me, yet the Lord will take me up (adopt me as His child)” Psalm 27:10 Amp.

Ask God to take you up and redeem all that was lost, and redeem all those years when you did not receive your earthly father’s blessing. Ask Him to restore all the years the canker worm has eaten. As God redeems what was lost, you must release those who did not bless you (parents or grandparents). Every one needs a father’s blessing and will struggle for years wondering, “Who am I,” but feeling they are past the age to ask. Now is the time to ask! Ask God for a Father’s Blessing, and He will bless you with all spiritual blessings.

A Father’s Blessing
God says in His Word to ask and it shall be given to you. Ask and He will bless you. All He requires is for you make peace with your earthly father. As you make peace by forgiving and releasing your earthly father, you will be able to fully receive your Heavenly Father’s blessings.

Making Peace
If your father is still alive, you can make peace with him through forgiveness. Pray the following prayer to forgive him for not blessing you. Even if you have forgiven him for hurting you in other ways, forgiveness is like pealing an onion you forgive one layer at a time and one issue at a time.

A Prayer to Forgive
Lord, I don’t know how to make forgiveness happen.
I have tried to change my feelings but I can’t. I need you to help me forgive.

Today I’m making a choice to forgive. I know I’ll have to choose again and again until you make forgiveness real and complete in me.

I choose to forgive _____________ for______________.

Forgive me for demanding they pay me for the harm they have done. I accept the blood of Jesus as payment in full, they owe me nothing. Cleanse me also of the sinful responses of bitterness and resentment and wash my heart clean. Forgive me for all condemning judgments that I have made towards them. Renew me with a new and right spirit.
In Jesus name Amen.

Expect a Blessing
Once you have forgiven your father expect a blessing from him, listen to what he has to say. He can speak a powerful blessing over you even at an elderly age. No matter what age you are, your earthly father’s words are still anointed with the blessings of God. I have personally watched and listened as an elderly father spoke words of affirmation to his son; but, because of unforgiveness, the son could not receive them. If your father is unapproachable, or not alive, you can still make peace through forgiveness. Forgiveness positions you properly to receive a blessing. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places.” (Ephesians 1: 3) 

Written by Denise Boggs
 

  

If so, a Living Waters Breakthrough Retreat is for you!  You will find that time sitting before the Lord dealing with the issues of your heart will break those cycles in your life.

Denise and Lee Boggs have been called to minister hope and freedom to broken and wounded hearts.  Denise says, “Fear grips many people and keeps them trapped and bound up with unresolved issues.  Fear hold them back from doing what God has called them to do.  Every unresolved issue can be traced back to a wounded heart.  That’s when we are vulnerable and embrace the lies of ...<< MORE >>

He that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word and understandth it; which also beareth fruit and bringeth forth some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. Mathew 13:23

Think about how much of God’s Word you have received through-out your life time. Now, think about how much of what you have received through preaching, teaching and personal devotions that has produced fruit? This is a thought provoking question, isn’t it?

When Jesus prepared His disciples to evangelize the world He had one thing in mind. Establishing the Kingdom! The Kingdom would be established by His Word. Just as at the beginning when He said, “Let there be light,” and there was light; it was the power of God’s Word that would cover the earth and establish His Kingdom.

When God sent the Holy Spirit He was putting within each of His disciples the power of His Word. When they spoke according to His Word, the power was released. When God’s Kingdom principles and His Word are released into the world it should produce something – a 100 fold return. If the Word of God is full of the power to establish His Kingdom here on earth then why do we not see more of His Kingdom today? Jesus revealed to His disciples the hidden truth or the answer to this mystery when He taught the disciple the parable of the Sower in Matthew 13.  He said, “It is given unto you to know the mysteries of the Kingdom...” It was given unto them to know the mystery of the 100 fold return. The mystery is the condition of the soil where the seed is planted, the soil is the heart. God’s Word is a seed that produces fruit every time it is planted into good soil. If fruit is not being produced it is not a seed problem it is a soil problem, because God’s Word has within it, the power of God to move mountains, save the lost, and heal the sick.

For God’s Kingdom to fully come on earth all that is needed in this day and hour is men and women that will surrender their lives and allow God the prepare the soil of their heart to receive His Word.

Will you allow Him to prepare the soil of your heart by tilling the hard ground, removing the rocks and pulling up the deep rooted issues? Then, the Word you receive will produce much fruit, a 30, 60, or even a 100 fold return.

By Denise Boggs

  

“Oh God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land….” Psalm 63:1

There is a deep well within us that must be filled up daily. When this well has not been filled you will find yourself dry and thirsty.  Jesus said, “If any man thirst let him come to me and drink.” (John 7:37) Jesus is the fountain where we go to drink; He is a fountain that will never run dry. When we spend time with Him, praying and reading His Word we are drinking from the “living water.” The Word brings life and refreshing to our spirit just as a drink of natural water refreshes us when we are dry and thirsty.

Are you stressed, tired and burned out from the pressures of life? If so, I would like to encourage you to get up early in the morning, spend extra time drinking from the Word of God. Drink until you are filled up with a renewed strength. As you spend time in the Word you will also experience a renewed hope that everything is going to be alright.

By Denise Boggs

  

Rebellion is a problem that thousands of parents face every day. There are many solutions to this problem; some have proven to be successful, and others have not. As a Christian writer and mother of three children, I will share one solution that really works; (it worked in our home) it is a proven solution to the problem of rebellion. I had to learn these lessons the hard way, but thankfully I learned them in time to take care of the rebellion problem while my children were young.

When and where does rebellion start?

Rebellion in the home starts slowly but gains momentum as it continues. Like a snowball, it first starts with a handful of snow; but as it rolls down the hill, that innocent little ball of snow gets bigger and bigger. You may be looking at a child that is rebellious and you are wondering how this happened when just yesterday she/he seemed to be so good. It wasn’t just since yesterday; rebellion takes place over time. The rebellious actions and attitudes may not have been referred to as rebellion until they got out of hand and so big everyone is affected.

With your child, think for a minute… when did the rebellion start? I will use the Cute Puppy story to help you pinpoint when it may have started.

The Cute Puppy

Place yourself as the mom in this story: Once upon a time there was a stray puppy that came to your door, and because he was so cute you fed him. The next day this cute puppy, with sad eyes, comes to the door and this time you let your children feed him. The third day the cute puppy doesn’t look so sad anymore - he is now wagging his tail because he knows he has found a friend. The fourth day you feed the cute puppy and let him inside for a nap.

One small thing had been overlooked - the family rule of “no pets in the house.” Your husband had requested that the family set this rule after a new sofa had to be bought because the old one had been soiled by the family dog. The dog had since died, but the rule had been forgotten. The fifth day the cute puppy comes to the door wagging his tail and this time you let him come in to eat, take a nap, and play awhile. After all he is so cute and the kids are having so much fun… what could be wrong with bringing him in for a little while? After an hour or so you say, “We need to take the puppy outside before your father comes home.” “Oh Mom,” the kids cry, “let him stay in just a little longer; he is so cute and we are having so much fun.” You agree to allow him to stay just a little longer by saying, “only if you will not let him up on the couch, you remember how your father feels about that.” “Ok, we won’t” the kids say.

But no matter how cute a puppy is, it is a puppy, and a puppy will do what puppies do. As the games continue, the puppy jumps up on the couch to get a ball. “Mom, come look at how he jumps to get the ball.” The kids cry, “He is the cutest puppy.” But before anyone could stop it, you guessed right, he lifts up his cute little leg and… oh no, what do we do? Dad was due home any minute and the sofa was wet, and the living room smelled like a dog.

You have a great idea, “Ok kids, we will go out for dinner and call someone to come over and clean the sofa while we are gone.” This seemed to be a good way to deal with the problem. Dad doesn’t get mad, you are off the hook, the kids are happy, and the cute puppy still has a home.

What really happened that day?

A seed of rebellion was planted.

The kids were taught that it is ok to break a family rule.

They learn to disrespect Dad, and that his requests really do not matter.

They learned if something feels good and it is fun, just do it.

They learned to find a way out of trouble.

They learned to cover things up; what Dad doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Rebellion is like a tiny seed planted in tender soil and then it begins to grow. You may not notice that the seed is growing until it pops up one day out of the ground. You may not take time to do anything about the little weed, or the little lie your son told you about where he went after school. But just like the little weed in the flower garden, if it is not pulled up it keeps growing. As the weeks and months go by, the little lie and the little weed are both growing and no one is noticing. You may look out the window one day and see that the weed has become a tree and the son is not coming home at all. How did it happen? Just yesterday everything was fine. No, it takes time for a weed to grow into a tree and it takes time for rebellion to grow in a child. When rebellion has not been dealt with in the early stages, the results are very predictable. Proverbs 29:15 says, “A child left to himself will bring his mother and father much shame.”

Your child is like a garden and what is planted will come up or come out. Start today weeding the flower garden. Observe what is coming out of your child’s mouth. Is it weeds or beautiful flowers? I would consider a child’s mocking and disrespectful words as weeds. When these weeds first come up, pull the weed up by simply saying, “That is unacceptable.” Apply Proverbs 29:17 and correct them. When correction is given correctly, out of love, God assures you in Proverbs 23:13-14, that you will spare your child from future destruction. Then do your homework; find out how the seed was planted in the first place and eliminate the source of the problem. As a parent you have the authority given by God.

Bad seeds come from various sources:

TV programs and movies today are full of violence, sex, and deception. The friends that your children are hanging out with are a very strong influence and need to be carefully monitored. Also, just as in the Cute Puppy story, the way parents cover up things can plant a seed of rebellion.

If you have a rebellious child, take action today!

Get to the source, remove the influence, and don’t wait until the weeds grow into trees. You can pluck up a weed with two fingers when it first pops up. The two fingers are the mother and father, both getting involved and working together. Both need to take responsibility to correct the problem. If you wait until the weed becomes a tree, it will take much more effort because a tree requires heavy equipment to dig it up.

This method of taking care of rebellion when it first starts has worked in our home. Our children are now 24, 20, and 16. We took care of the little weeds when they first popped up when they were young and we have never had to deal with rebellion as teens. If you have a rebellious child, there is hope, but it must start with you, the parent. God honors the position of the parent and when you cry out to Him in humility by repenting for mistakes, He will hear your cry and help you. Repentance will re-establish the authority you may have lost in your child’s life.

About the Author
Denise Boggs is an author, teacher, and director of Living Waters Ministry. She writes a daily devotional call The Path Called Righteousness. http://www.livingwatersministry.com